Gabriel

Sam's not entirely certain when he went from standing upright to laying on the ground. He's certain he had better control of his legs than that. Though Gabriel's hand on his side reminds him why he fell, just as it pulls a cry of pain from his lips.

He slumps back against the ground, blinking blearily up at Gabriel. "Is Jessica safe?" Gabriel he can see. Jessica he can't. "And...why are your eyes glowing, Gabriel?"

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She'd turned away, shielding her eyes and face from the sound that shook the very earth below them and shattered the sky above. Looking back up after the echoes had ceased, and hearing Gabriel speak soothingly to Sam, Jessica can hardly believe what it is she sees: The battle has ceased. The bandits are no more.

The lady turns to her maiden, making certain that she is well before gazing at the two men up ahead. Gabriel kneels next to Sam, but he seems different. It's as he looks up to see where she is that Jessica sees just why.

No... it cannot be...

Her eyes grow wide in disbelief as she hands off the reigns of her horse so that she may attend her greatest loves, even if she is uncertain of just who Gabriel actually is.

"You," she whispers as she reaches them, kneeling at Sam's shoulder opposite Gabriel. "You did this."

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This was it. Everything was going to change and very likely Gabriel stood to lose the two he loved most. He never wanted to hear awe like that in their voices. Only fond affection. But he could not watch them under threat, and he could not watch Sam die when he had the ability to save him. Reaching down, he cups Sam’s cheek. “I love you Sam. Never doubt that.” His eyes raise to Jessica, “Never doubt that I love both of you.”

The hand that had been covering Sam’s wound flares with a bright light and as he pulls his hand away, the skin is healed. Torn muscle and flesh knitted together without so much as a scar. But he wasn’t done yet. The light behind Gabriel’s eyes grew and for the first time in nearly a century, he unfurled his power. Wings of bronze and gold, every color of every sunrise that had ever been shimmer into existence as he raises his hands to the sky.

One world-lurching moment later they are safely in Gabriel’s villa by the sea. The attendants go about their normal duties without a blink to the fact that their master and companions seemingly materialized out of nowhere.
And Gabriel is himself again, looking very mortal and perhaps for the first time since his creation, very tired. It’s not often an ageless creature feels his age, but today he does. Today he revealed himself for the sake of love, and he knows full well that he might lose them both because of it.

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Everything changed.

One moment, Sam was on his back on the ground, staring up at his lovers and knowing that it was probably going to be the last he saw of them. Then Gabriel professed his love once more and everything went bright and hazy.

A blink and now Sam is looking at the villa they'd been heading for. Only he's still on the ground. He reaches over, finding a damp and bloody spot on his tunic but no pain. It takes a few moments before he pushes himself up, staring around them and then at Jessica before he turns to Gabriel and says the words that would be repeated so many times over the next dozen or so lifetimes: "I...I don't understand. What just happened?"

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Gabriel's declaration of love isn't entirely puzzling: It's what he does after the fact that shakes the foundation of everything she's come to know about him. For it is one thing to witness the healing of Sam by a mere touch. That alone is enough to render Jessica wholly silent. Quite another to see grand, beautiful... ethereal wings spread like the dawn they resembled. As a god.

But nothing quite prepares her for the sudden flash of light; nor the sound and smell of the ocean. She turns her head to the left, then right, trying to reconnect herself with her surroundings. How can this be?

Jessica gapes for a moment in complete disbelief. "You..." she whispers.

"You are a god." Mercury. Surely he must be...

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Gabriel winces at the way Jessica is looking at him, a mixture of disbelief and awe on her face. A god. Not exactly. But it’s not the easiest to explain the concept of archangel when they have no knowledge of Abraham or the faith practiced in the north. He wants so much to go to them, but Gabriel holds his ground. The next few minutes will likely determine whether he can stay with them or if he should go and leave them to live out their lives together in peace.

“I’m a Power,” he confirms. “But I’m still Gabriel. I couldn’t live with my family any longer so I started living among you. I was happiest there, watching and being a part of the lives around me.” His eyes shift towards Sam. “The last thing I expected was to fall in love.” Then to Jessica. “Twice.”

“I couldn’t let you fall Sam, not when I had the power to save you. I couldn’t see either of you in danger when I could do something about it, even if it meant revealing what I am.”

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One thing that Sam can honestly say is that he's never doubted the fact that Gabriel loves him. But between Jessica's pronouncement and Gabriel's correction, he can feel something go tight in his stomach.

Because there's a different, at least in his mind, between the love of a simple merchant and the love of a god. Power. Whatever Gabriel is. And, for a moment, the disbelief and worry are written starkly across Sam's face. But his thoughts are even louder, for those attuned to them.

As a simple mercenary and guard, he'd barely been worthy of the love of a simple merchant. With what he knows now? Sam's shaken to his very core.

Sam swallows hard, licking his lips before looking between Gabriel and Jessica. "I...I never expected it, either," he finally manages. "With either of you."

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For the first time in her life, Jessica is utterly at a loss for words. She is uncertain of herself, and of everything she has ever known to be true—and it shows. For a considerable length of time, she stands away from both Sam and Gabriel, with her arms wrapped around her person and the breeze of the sea blowing her blonde curls to and fro.

Her relationship with Gabriel had started as a friendly business rivalry. Flirtation had come easily, and she had begun to look forward to seeing both him and Sam at the Forum for conversation. For their company. The invitation to discuss business had not been entirely out of the blue, neither was what had transpired that same evening and then the following. The knowing that Jessica wanted to never leave their sides after the fact? That was unanticipated.

Gabriel’s confession reminds her of some of the tales that she’s heard over the course of her life about gods coming to stay among the mortals, and some even fell in love with those mortals (most of these tales did not usually end well, but Jessica refrains from considering a vengeful wife). As for Sam? It has been abundantly clear that he is so much more than his station. Station does not always mean worth— her entire staff had always been more than family to her. And do people not fall in love every day? Regardless of station. Regardless of status or gender. Jessica had been taught from an early age to not marry for anything less than status or wealth. That love would fade with time; that a heart would move on far too easily and that only taking lovers would do. None of her previous lovers could hold a flame to Gabriel or Sam. The two of them—their adoration and love for each other was stronger than any god or power could conjure, and even she had seen that before they opened their life to her.

What she finds hurtful is the fact that Gabriel had kept this from them. For the life of her--after all of their time together, the three of them--after all of their confessions and love, the lady cannot fathom as to why he would keep something so important from the two he claims to love most?

Jessica turns to Gabriel, and there is a flash of hurt in her features as she closes the gap between herself and him. With little else but fire in her eyes to serve as a warning, Jessica’s balled fist finds a place to land at his jawline as she growls, “Why did you not tell us until it was nearly too late?” She gives him a shove before he can get himself entirely collected. “Did you think us incapable of understanding or accepting?” Another push as her frustration grows. “How much longer would you have waited were it not for the bandits?! Until one of us perished without you?”

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The blow drives him back a step and while it doesn't physically hurt, the fact that she lashed out was far more painful. Gabriel falls back another step at the shove, giving ground in the face of her anger because the truth is he doesn't have a good or easy answer to why he'd kept it from them.

"Because when you looked at me, you saw Gabriel the man. There was no reverence, no fear in your eyes. You only saw me, not the power I could call." He rubs at his jaw. "I was afraid it would change. Call me a coward," he admits weakly. "There was a reason I left home. My brothers were fighting among themselves, ready to undo everything that ever was and I couldn't watch it any longer."

"I didn't want you to look at me differently." Not much of an excuse, but it was the one real fear he'd had on those nights as he watched them both sleep in their shared bed. Watching them and wondering how much things would change if he simply told him the truth.

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Well, the punch at least spurs Sam into doing SOMETHING. Even if that something is grabbing Jessica and pulling her back. Not out of worry that Gabriel would do anything, though it's a concern. But more because he doesn't want to see either of them hurt.

"My lady, this won't help," he manages, before looking up and actually listening to Gabriel.

After a few moments of silence, though, he shakes his head. "You never gave us a chance to decide if we would see you differently," he finally says. "I can't say that it wouldn't have made a difference and maybe everything will change now. I don't know." He looks at Gabriel seriously. "I need time to think on this. I...still love you. Both of you. But I need to sort this out on my own, too."

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Sam's hands pulling her back against him and away from Gabriel bring Jessica down from the pedestal of hurt and anger she's teetering on, having taking it out on their beloved without at least allowing him to offer explanation.

And after Gabriel provides it, Jessica feels both regret for her outburst, and overwhelmed by his sincerity. His fear. His love.

"Gabriel," she murmurs, unsure of what it is she should do in the moment. Go to him? "I love you. I love both of you with all that I am..." She takes a deep breath. "I think that we all need to have a moment to think about everything." It feels awful, seemingly piling this on Gabriel's shoulders. In all honesty? She cannot imagine her life without either of them.

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The fact that they both said that they still love him is probably the only thing keeping Gabriel from leaving Rome behind forever. Being without them would be agony, but he can’t deny that he brought this on himself. “Octavia runs the household. Speak to her if you need anything.” She’d been a part of his household since he’d rescued her from the streets as a hungry little waif trying to pick his pocket years before. Before Sam. Before Jessica. Before he’d risked everything and was now forced to pull away from the two mortals he cared so much for.

“Call out my name,” he says after a moment. “If you want to.. if you need me. I’ll hear you.”

And with the sound of wingbeats, Gabriel simply vanished from view. He could retreat to the mountains for now, bury himself in the cold and pretend that it didn’t hurt as much as it did.

But he never could lie to himself very convincingly.

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Watching Gabriel disappear and leave them behind feels like something was wretched in Sam's body. He only keeps himself from calling out because his mind is so crowded with thoughts and feelings that he knows he'd do them all a disservice if he did so.

He lets his hands fall from Jessica's arms, still staring at the place where Gabriel had stood before forcing himself to look away and down at Jessica. "Come, my lady. Let me show you the villa."

Anything to take his mind off the hurt that he could see on Gabriel's face. Or the hurt he still felt inside at the very thought that Gabriel was so far away from them.

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The guilt Jessica feels from lashing out at Gabriel lodges deep in her chest and in her gut. She had reacted very poorly, and now it may mean that it cost both her and Sam one of the dearest individuals they had ever known.

She does not say anything for a time as Sam shows her the beautiful villa by the sea, walking slowly through the rooms. Strange how there is no real joy in taking in the sight of it.

"What have I done, Sam?" The question is asked when they enter a room that overlooks the crashing waves, her arms wrapped around her body as though she is trying to make herself as small as she feels. "He has shown us nothing but love without condition, and I treated him with anger and fear. What does this say of me?"

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Sam's obviously distracted as they make their way around the villa, though he does his best to be a good host. After all, this villa is almost as much his these days as it is Gabriel's.

The very thought twists at his stomach.

Still, when Jessica asks her question, Sam takes a moment to stare out at the waves, trying to sort it out himself.

"Because...because it feels like a betrayal," he finally says. "After all, he has been lying to us, even if it's understandable why he did so, looking back on it. And it feels..." He pauses. "Too much? If that even makes sense."

He turns to look at Jessica. "Nothing has changed and everything has and I'm not sure how to put the power that we saw out there with...with our Gabriel."

The man who knelt at his feet, who allowed Sam to have so much power over him. It's more than Sam can process.

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"'Betrayal' seems too strong a word. We all have our secrets, Sam." Even gods, or powers or whatever one might call Gabriel. "He protected us, though unconventionally so." Jessica moves to her lover so that she might reach out to take his hand. "We would have done the same for him without question.

"He never harmed us," she murmurs after a few beats, looking the man over with a sigh. "He loves us. Loved you before and above all else for a long while." A thought is mulled around for a moment. "He trusts you. He... gave himself to you wholly and completely. He sees more in you than I think you do yourself, dear heart. So do I."

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He glances over at her. "I don't think he actually betrayed us. Just that, at the moment, that's the way it feels. That he's kept so much from us and it feels important." Even when the details aren't that important, really. Not in the grand scheme of things and in how much he loves them both.

Listening to her, Sam raises her hand in his and presses his lips to her knuckles. "I'm nothing special, my lady. Nobody special. Just a boy from the east who was sent to Rome as protection for his village." They could afford to send a second son, after all. And it was one less mouth for his father to have to feed, though it had nearly killed the man to send him away. "I don't want to send him away. At all. I'd call him back this moment but I don't think that's right, either. We all need time to come to terms with this, to...to figure out where this leaves us."

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Her fingers lace with his before he can pull them away. She can understand how easy it is to hold up others, and yet not see the true value and light within oneself. "You are special, Sam. You are compassionate and brilliant. Brave. Devoted to those who love you." Jessica shakes her head, then returns the favor of a kiss upon the palm of his hand. "Never doubt that you are amazing. And damn the horseshit that society seems to have instilled upon you. Upon us all." Even if it's what lead Gabriel and Sam to her.

She always thinks that if perhaps they left Rome. The Empire... that they could all start anew. New names and a new status. A brand-new life entirely. Just the three of them.

"As for Gabriel," she murmurs. "It does sting, yes. Mostly what I did to him, but what he kept from us is important. I have a feeling that for you it is more than that." Tender fingers reach up to brush hair away from his eyes. Jessica would never get over her fondness for Sam's hair. "I have a feeling that you have deemed yourself unworthy of him because of what we now know. Did you feel that way before? When we both thought he was only a merchant?" Is it a humbling thought to have an entity such as Gabriel feel as he does for the both of them? It is. "For I suspect that he has always seen you as an equal, if not more than he is himself, and would do anything in the world for you. Even if that means losing himself."

Edited (Thought process.) Date: 2015-10-08 08:16 pm (UTC)

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"I never thought that I was worthy of what Gabriel offered me," Sam admits, putting into words what he rarely thinks about. "But it was...somehow easier, before. To accept it when we were just merchant and guard."

This? This is so much bigger and it scares Sam. He knows he'll get used to it, somehow, but for now, it frightens him.

Even more so when Jessica points out that Gabriel would lose himself for Sam.

"I will adjust, though. I know I will and, after a day or so to get our heads on straight, we'll call Gabriel back and the three of us will discuss things." Perhaps they would have to beg Gabriel not to leave them, but Sam has no pride when it comes to that. He will do whatever is necessary to keep Gabriel with them. Begging is the least of what he would do, after all.

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Everything they'd ever thought they knew had changed in a heartbeat. It frightens her as much as it does Sam. Mostly, at least. They had a past long before Jessica became part of their lives. Their life had been built around a profound sense of trust and love, and Gabriel's actions and admission had shaken the foundation. Still, she knows it remains intact, and there are times when foundation must be repaired by whatever means possible.

After a moment, she rests her hands on his face, and tips his head down to kiss his forehead. "You are worthy of love and respect, Sam. Whether it be from paupers, kings, or the gods themselves. Remember this." Her thumbs run over his cheeks gently as she pulls back to search his eyes. "Gather your thoughts, and I will do the same."

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"I will try." For the sake of Jessica and Gabriel, Sam will do his utmost to remind himself that he's worthy of what they offer.

It may not work to begin with, but he would try for them.

Slowly, Sam nods and straightens, offering his arm to Jessica. "I'll show you to rooms for yourself and your staff. I believe we both have a fair amount of thinking to do."

Sam, himself, won't sleep in the room that he and Gabriel have used most recently. It won't feel right without the other man there. But he needs space to consider what they've learned and, for the moment, that means being separate from Jessica.

It also means a long, sleepless night as he's not used to sleeping alone any more. That, almost more than anything else his mind turns over during the rest of that day and night, leads him to the conclusions he always knew he would reach.

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The day passes on quietly, making way for an equally quiet evening. Supper gets picked at by Jessica, having little appetite after earlier events. There is something wholly unsettling about what had happened, but even more so was the general malaise of the household. Of Sam and herself. Gabriel's expression before he vanished like a phantom continues to break her heart as the darkness drapes the landscape, turning the skies and water black, save the reflection of the moon.

She remains awake, much as she also expects Sam to be, as Luna's descent begins. The room she was given is lovely and comfortable, but there is little comfort to be had as she rests in the covers and soft down. Tired as though she may be, sleep is eluding her. She remembers how Gabriel would hear them if they called, and perhaps he would be able to hear her quiet words in the night.

"Gabriel?" It's soft, and she can't imagine he could possibly hear anything so far away, regardless of what he actually is--man or power. Even if he cannot hear, perhaps speaking her thoughts would help clear up her mind. "My actions today were inexcusable. Yes, I was stunned and yes... for a moment I was afraid of what was witnessed. It was painful to know you'd kept something so truly amazing hidden." She takes a deep breath, releasing it as she continues. "But, I believe that I understand why. I saw that in Sam today. You wanted to protect us, yes, but I see that you wanted to be loved without condition. You gave that to Sam a very long time ago.

"I do not fear you. Now that I believe I understand you, and all that you are--the fact that you possessed such a gift and did not use it for your own benefit tells me so much. You are not a god, no. A god would have done to me what you had done to those bandits." A pause to wipe away the rivulets that had sprung from the corners of her eyes. "You are a gift. You and Sam are a gift to me.

"I hope that you can forgive my actions today. If you cannot, I will understand. Know that you are loved. So much. By Sam, and by me."

It is a slow drift to meet Somnus, however briefly, until the Sun returned.

Edited Date: 2015-10-22 07:12 pm (UTC)

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Oh Jessica.

Gabriel remained true to his word, keeping his distance from the villa while they worked out things on their own. As much as it pained him to be apart from them, he would not break a promise given to the two he loved best.

But he heard her words in the dark, how could he not? Every angel hears a prayer uttered to them and what greater prayer was there than love?

He can't come to her, as much as he wants to gather her close and bury his face in that wealth of soft hair and beg forgiveness. They have not asked him to come home so he will stay away. But she should know that she was heard, that he loves her with everything that he is.

The fall of flowers starts softly, purple lavender still warm from the sun sifting down over her bed like fragrant snow. I love you too, Jessica.

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Sam's way of handling things is different from Jessica's. He's never been quite as good at speaking as she is, especially about his own feelings. So he doesn't speak to Gabriel the way that she did.

But his thoughts are never very far from Gabriel at all. A dozen upon a dozen times, at least, he finds himself turning to speak to his lover, some thought on his lips that dies when he remembers that Gabriel isn't there and why that is.

The lack of sleep is obvious when he meets with Jessica in the morning, drifting to her side when it is time to break the night's fasting. As in their home in Rome, Sam doesn't have to stand on ceremony as guard, able to relax a bit more and sit with her with only a nod. Here, he's not a servant, but one of the masters and it makes him a bit ill to think that he has this without Gabriel at his side.

"I miss him," he says finally, looking up at Jessica.

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