A Choice

[low_key_angel]

"So that's how you end this Sam." Lucifer has never looked quite so smug as he laid out his proposal. "Have sex with my brother and I'll make all of this go away."

"Lu, don't do this."

"He can do this my way Gabriel, or he can watch you die."

Gabriel turned away from the ruined face of his brother's vessel. He was willing to give up ending the world for the sake of breaking his heart, of destroying any chance Gabriel might have had with Sam. Tainting every future interaction with this.

"Sam.. just go. You don't have to do this."

Comments

[worldfelldown]

"You're helping enough with the rings." He smiles sadly. He didn't exactly want to do what he was planning and if there was a way to get him in without sacrificing anyone... Sam was all ears. He didn't think that was going to be the case though.

But there was one thing he could do, he figured. One thing for Gabriel and one thing to maybe help himself figure out some things. Loving someone else, having someone love him... it hadn't even been on his list of things that might happen before the end. He didn't know how to deal with it now, not when he pretty much figured he wasn't getting out alive.

"You can, uh... if you want, you can stick around awhile? Keep me company. I'm not... really ready to go talk to Dean yet." This might be a horrifically bad idea after the coercion earlier, but... part of him stubbornly didn't want the devil to win this one too. "We kind of had to skip dinner and go straight to bed anyway."

[low_key_angel]

His answering smile was brittle, threatening to come apart as he shook his head. “No, kiddo. No it’s not enough. But I’ll do it. I’ll help you get the rings.” Lucifer won. He got what he wanted. Even if he wound up in the Cage again, he’d done what he’d set out to do in that hotel.

And Sam was still fighting it, still finding ways to turn it around so he didn’t win. Gabriel was going to lose him in the end, one way or the other. The smart thing would be to shut it all down, tuck away those feelings and ignore them. He’d done the same when he fled Heaven, but this time he didn’t have it in him. Gabriel couldn’t pretend that what he felt for Sam wasn’t there, especially after what had happened.

Gabriel nodded. “Okay. I.. I’d like that Sam.” Because he’d stay. He’d stay right until the bitter end if Sam wanted him to. “There’s a diner up the street. Coffee?”

[worldfelldown]

"Yeah... let's go." He slipped his hands into his pockets and moved to Gabriel's side to start walking. Driving meant he had to go grab the keys and a walk didn't really bother him all that much anyway. He had no idea what to say all of a sudden. There was tension just underneath the surface and he wasn't going to lie and tell himself it was all just because of what Lucifer made them do earlier. He knew he was at least partly to blame with what he brought up earlier.

Might've been better to save the ring talk for later.

Shaking those thoughts off for now, he gave a brief look over. "Look... I'm sorry. I wish things could be different."

[low_key_angel]

He fell into step beside Sam, leaving him to his thoughts for a moment. There was more than a little tension in the silence, but what was there to be said? Maybe he shouldn’t have told Sam how he felt. It wasn’t fair to put that on him, to know that Gabriel loved him when he didn’t feel the same. Sure, it meant something to show Sam that he cared, but it was just one extra stress on someone who didn’t deserve it.

Knowing he was going to sacrifice himself to stop his brother didn’t help matters much either.

“You don’t have to apologize. I, ah, I wish they could be different too, but they’re not.”

They pulled to a stop at the crosswalk before Gabriel spoke again. “Do me one favor Sam. Don’t think that’s the only way out. There’s got to be another way. Just.. let me look. Please."

[worldfelldown]

"I'm not talking about the... way you feel or the way I feel, you know." Despite being the brother more open to talking, Sam felt like he was kind of at a loss here. He didn't know how to go about this conversation, but leaving it hanging wasn't doing them any good either.

Besides, it kind of tied into what Gabriel was asking him to do anyway. "I'm sorry because I don't think we'll get the time to really work on anything or... or explore this, whatever it is. You can look, but I really don't think you'll find anything."

Because they weren't ever that lucky, were they? "And I'm not letting anyone else die because of me. No one else is handling Lucifer."

[low_key_angel]

For one wildly impulsive moment, Gabriel considered going back, taking on Lucifer and ending this once and for all. Sure he might die in the process, but if he could save Sam, it would be worth it. Sam could hate him for it, but he’d at least be alive to do it.

He tore his gaze away from Sam and back to the road they were walking along. Better if Sam didn’t see how much the whole conversation, awkward as it was, hurt him. Because figuring things out meant that maybe they could have.. had something, salvaged something from the disaster at the hotel. He huffed out a breath, rolling his shoulders. Pull it together, damnit.

“Don’t look to make that jump Sam. Not yet. ‘s all I’m asking. Nothing else.” He pulled open the door to the little diner, walking straight back to one of the rear booths. Probably the best privacy that they could get given the location.

“You don’t feel the same. It’s okay. Don’t let that classic Winchester guilt take over,” the levity is faint and more than a little forced. “I’m a big boy.”

[worldfelldown]

"I'm not doing anything," He sighed as he settled into the booth across from Gabriel, hands absently resting against the table. He waited until the waitress who brought their menus and took their drink order left before he even thought about speaking. Sam wasn't entirely sure how much privacy they were going to get here, but it was late and there weren't too many people around them right now, so there was that.

"You're putting words into my mouth. I don't tend to really let myself think about stuff like that anymore, you know? I mean, my relationships don't last and it's too easy for me to get people hurt." His expression saddened a little. as he met the angel's eyes. "Look, we aren't even technically together and you still got dragged into something horrible."

[low_key_angel]

“Fair point.” Gabriel spread his hands on the table, considering them for a moment. Maybe it had been easier to think that Sam simply didn’t want him because in the end, nobody really did. He was the outsider, the Trickster. Trusted by none and only tolerated by most, but never actively sought out. It was eaiser to think that way. It wasn’t fair, but if he let himself believe that Sam didn’t feel the same, it would be easier to let him go.

“I could say the same thing Sam,” he countered after a moment. “Lucifer used the situation to get at both of us. There was a time, back in the beginning, that we were so close you couldn’t tell where he ended and I began. I loved him more than anything in Heaven and Earth.” A mournful smile ghosted across his face. “We came up with the platypus as a gag. Dad.. he liked it so much he breathed life into it.”

“Lucifer’s always known how to hurt me. That’s because he loved me once. This was just a double whammy on his part.”

Gabriel picked up his coffee, distracted enough to neglect adding his usual cup of sugar to the brew. “I know this whole thing blindsided you. It’s not fair to ask you to make any decisions about any of it, so I’m not gonna. Only thing I’m going to ask is that you let me look. Let me try and find some other way to stuff him back in the Cage. Give me the time to at least try.”

[worldfelldown]

Sam's expression softened. He wasn't a stranger to that... how easy it was for brothers to hurt one another. When you knew someone so well... you knew which parts to hit that would hurt the worse. Sam still didn't like that it had to be him that was used in all of this... didn't enjoy being the one to hurt Gabriel. It was... difficult to picture too, Lucifer being anything other than what he was now.

Actually joking, caring about someone other than himself, his own ends.

"See?" he huffed out a laugh that was so far from amused. "It's just... the guy who came up with the platypus is the same guy telling me he loves me. I mean, you're an angel. I used to pray to you guys, pray to God-- before I knew what a lot of you are like." Before he realized most of them probably weren't listening to him anyway, because he's been tainted since his crib, set on one destiny.

He shook his head and cradled his coffee cup in his hands, not quite drinking from it yet. "I'm not doing anything yet. We don't even have all the rings."

[low_key_angel]

That’s what made all of this so difficult for Gabriel, really. Resolving the brother he’d known and adored with the twisted and frozen grace of the brother he’d just seen. He hated what he’d become, what Hell had twisted him into, but he was still his brother. Gabriel had fled heaven before Lucifer had been cast down. Watching Michael shatter his wings, curse them, it had been his own breaking point. Heaven stopped being home.

Gabriel snorted. “I’m a runaway. An archangel who abandoned Heaven because I couldn’t stand the fighting anymore and spent the next few hundred years hiding out as a Trickster. Not really an angel, not really a pagan. Humans.. you guys are better than us. You always have been. I know we’ve got the whole ancient and non-corporeal thing going on, but there’s a reason humans have always been Dad’s favorite. You adapt, you learn, you forgive – things we never learned how to do.”

“Angels were given free will, just like people. The problem was, it was different. So only a handful of us ever figured out what to do with it. The rest.. they’re stuck. Statues frozen in ice. They’ve forgotten what our job was. That we were created in love to act as shepherds. Not look like accountants from hell.”

And he’d argue about that percieved taint. Sure there was a hint of demon blood in him, but the fact that he was still a good man, a bright soul, that only made him more remarkable in Gabriel’s mind.

.. but he was probably biased anyway.

[worldfelldown]

"But still... most humans don't get this and yeah, I know my life isn't exactly normal. It's still... I don't know." But it was good to hear the vote of confidence in humans as a whole, to know that Gabriel was really on their side this time and not insisting they play their roles. They were roles Sam didn't want to play. He didn't want to fight Dean, didn't want any more death on his hands than necessary... certainly not half the earth.

"Maybe after all this... maybe they can change too." Sam wasn't as hopeful, but he'd seen Cas change for the better. He'd seen Gabriel change as well. Maybe they could help them or maybe it was a fool's hope. Either way, if they really locked Lucifer back up and God really didn't care enough to come back? They were going to be lost.

"What do you think you'll do after all this is over?"

[low_key_angel]

"Maybe they can, yeah." He'd like to think so. "Pretty sure Dad isn't coming back. Maybe I can help some of them out."

He'd meant what he had said to Lucifer, that humans got it right, in ways that angels never would. "If they want to listen anyway."

"And if everything goes right, if we stuff him back and everyone comes out in one piece, the ultimate Scooby Doo ending, what do you want to do?"

[worldfelldown]

If that actually happened? Sam hadn't really considered it ever really playing out like that, but fine... why not just focus on something pleasant for once tonight? But it does require some thought for a moment or two while the waitress refills their coffee.

"I'd like taking a break. Dean deserves it, I think I need it." He shrugged. Their breaks didn't usually work out, but this was just in an ideal scenario, right?

"Work a normal job for awhile, you know? An honest job that doesn't have us hustling pool or running credit card scams." He smiled a little it at the thought. Dean could go find Lisa if he wanted... he could settle down and get that life he always wanted -- that Sam was never sure he was personally cut out for anymore.

"I'd, uh... I'd like to do more of this, with you. When you're not playing Trickster, I actually really like talking with you." That might have been a little more awkward to confess to. It was hard to not think about earlier. The sex hadn't been bad at all... far from it, but the thought that they were forced into it still made his skin crawl a little.

[low_key_angel]

Hey, he was human. He was allowed to dream, right? While Sam mulls over his answer, Gabriel started shoveling sugar into his coffee cup until it's roughly the consistency of caffeinated syrup. A slow nod. "The simple life. Not a bad dream. You two've earned it that's for damned sure."

His smile echoed Sam's. Faint and touched with wistfulness. "Average Joe life coupled with coffee with an ex-Trickster? Doesn't sound too bad for a happy ending, Sam."

He inclines his mug at Sam, tapping them together briefly. "To happy endings."

[worldfelldown]

"Yeah..." He laughs under his breath at the toast. "Maybe we'll be surprised."

He wasn't getting his hopes up about that, but... damn, it would be nice to be wrong in this case and actually get that happy ending, even if he probably didn't deserve it.

"And just for the record--" There's a lighter, more teasing note to his tone this time. "I think what you're drinking stopped being coffee awhile ago."

[low_key_angel]

An impish wink followed that tease. That's the Sam he wanted to see. A hint of humor, a moment of happiness. "Hey, didn't they tell you in any of those big books you spend most of your life reading that archangels are nothing more than giant hummingbirds?"

"Look Sam. The big dance is off the table. Lu is a dick, but he's an angel of his word. Take a couple of days. Catch your breath. I can try and get a bead on the horsemen while you rest."

[worldfelldown]

"I missed that one, I guess." He chuckled, shaking his head. It was nice to have this, for however long it lasted. It was good to see some hint of teasing from Gabriel back as well.

"Yeah, alright. You got a deal." The apocalypse was off the table, Gabriel was right. He hoped anyway. They had a minute to regroup and figure out how to get Lucifer back where he belonged... however they'd manage that.

[low_key_angel]

After everything they'd just been through, it meant more to Gabriel to get that smile out of him. Satisfied, he sat back with an easy grin of his own.

"Good. Now you think your brother's pride will stand me putting you two in better digs for a couple days? No lumpy beds and dodgy hot water while you rest up?"

[worldfelldown]

"Maybe? It's been a while since either of us have had a good night's rest." His expression was warm as he looked over at the angel grinning back at him. Yeah, tonight had... sucked, but in the end, he still stopped an apocalypse and had someone who cared about him enough to help him out with the rest that needed to be tied up.

He was considering that a win, even if it still irked him that Lucifer ended up using his body anyway -- just not in the way he'd ever thought.

"You know you don't have to though, right? We'll be fine."

[low_key_angel]

"Quit complaining and let someone do something nice for you, kiddo." Gabriel waggled a finger across the table at him. "I'm not talking putting you two up at the Ritz, just some place with a mattress that isn't lumpy, pillows that aren't flat and honest to god coffee in the morning."

He sat back, finishing off his coffee in a single swallow. Lucifer had tried to sabotage things, and he couldn't help but relish the idea that just maybe.. he hadn't.

"Couple of days off to catch up on lost sleep and regroup. You could use the break Sam. Let me.. let me do this for you."

[worldfelldown]

"Okay, okay." He holds up a hand in defeat, that fond look lingering on his face. It's a good offer and really, he thinks Dean could use the break at least. Sam? He's never been so good at resting when there's work to do, when something is hanging over their heads that needs to be done.

He'll try it though, because Gabriel is asking him and for once, it feels like they could win. Putting his now empty mug down he tilts his head. "Do you want to walk back with me? I guess I need to go... tell Dean something. Let him know that at least Lucifer's not bringing the apocalypse."

He's not sure what reaction that will bring, when he gets whatever details Sam can bring himself to admit to, but... he did it so his brother could quit fighting, so Gabriel didn't die. It was worth whatever happened after this.

[low_key_angel]

Gabriel pulled out a handful of money, leaving it on the table. A three hundred percent tip for a struggling young lady who needed the break. Not much in the grand scheme of things, but it mollified his sense of justice to take care of people who needed it now and then.

"Sure thing. And.. I'm okay with not telling him exactly what went down. Tell him I talked my brother down if that'd be easier."

"And tomorrow night, you guys will find a better place to crash. Someplace you can rest for a few days."

[worldfelldown]

He arched a brow at that tip Gabriel left behind, but didn't question it. Getting to his feet, he headed out the exit, keeping himself close to the angel for now. "I'm very okay with not getting into the details. Some things, my brother really doesn't need to know."

Even if Dean was the master of sharing too much information about his sex life. Sam wasn't so much into that -- especially when it was under coercion from the devil himself. His hands went to his pockets idly. "Sounds great. It's been a long time since we've had decent rooms. Don't really get the option all that often."

[low_key_angel]

"You tell him what you're okay with. I'll back you up," he lingered outside the diner for a moment.

"I'll hook you guys up for a few days. Call it a mini vacation." And really, after that, they'd find nicer hotels out of nowhere, good coffee, and Sam would find that even crap diners started serving decent salads.

"Sam. I.. I'm sorry you had to find out that way. From Lucifer."

[worldfelldown]

"Were you planning on telling me yourself?" He couldn't help the question. He was curious and he wanted to know if there had been a chance of a more pleasant way to hear it. Not that it really mattered now when the damage was pretty much already done.